I've had a really rough pregnancy with Chaseton and I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I find it funny to say that my girls were such easy pregnancies and here comes this little boy and he has challenged me from conception.
I'm trying so hard to enjoy these last 21 days of this pregnancy knowing that, in my plans, its quite possibly my last. I'm still in awe of the life that is inside me. I love being able to feel him move. I love imagining what he'll look like and how the first few days of his life will be. Its such a blessing to be able to carry this little life inside of me for nine months. He has already touched our lives so much and he's not even here yet.
But I'm in a funk.
I've had a few rough months. Emotionally and physically. Pregnancy is hard to navigate. I started out this pregnancy so sick. After many weeks of being drained, I was finally given medication for the beginnings of pneumonia. I've dealt with headaches, body aches, sickness, and sick girls (typical in pregnancy, I'm sure). I feel like I can't ever catch a break. The girls are fighting, I'm exhausted, and everything seems to be going wrong. And every time I let myself think the world is out to get me, I'm reminded of this verse:
And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called: those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:28-31.
I've wanted to be a mom since before I can remember. Almost every Sunday, I would volunteer in the nursery with my grandma. Like every little girl, I dreamt of what I would name my children and what they would look like. In my plan, I wanted a boy first so my future little girls could experience having a big brother, just like me, because I love having older brothers. Back then, I knew exactly what I wanted and that was to be a mom. My friends wanted to be doctors, lawyers, and artists and I wanted to be a mom.
Little did I know that I was choosing one of the hardest, yet rewarding, jobs ever.
But I was chosen to be a mom.
God gave me a purpose and its because of him that I have been blessed with three precious children. Putting life into perspective always seems to help me be more positive. In ALL things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. No matter how hard my challenges, how hard life may seem, or how difficult being a mom can be, I know that God is for me!
I woke up early this morning to a crying Jaelyn. Its human nature for me to expect the worst for the day if my morning starts off on the wrong foot. I question myself and wonder, "How in the world am I going to handle three kids? Am I really cut out for this?" As I got on my computer this morning to look at some recent photos I had taken of the girls, I got my answer.
Finlee-the coolest "mom" I know.
I know that no matter how hard I seem to think my situation is, God has a plan for me. He has a plan for my girls and he has a plan for my little boy. And I know he has blessed me so much with the life that I have. Knowing this helps me get through every day trials. I know how much I love my kids, they are my biggest blessings, so its hard to imagine how much He loves us, considering its SO much more than we can wrap our minds around.
Jaelyn-Our T-Ball Star
How can these pictures not make you smile? I am truly blessed. Not only with two precious darlings and a new son, but with a God that is bigger than any challenge I could ever imagine. I love being a mom!
Xoxo,
Tanna
